Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Charade by Nyrae Dawn



Nineteen-year-old Cheyenne tries to portray the perfect life to mask the memories of her past. Walking in on her boyfriend with another woman her freshman year in college threatens that picture of perfection. 

Twenty-one-year-old Colt never wanted college and never expected to amount to anything, but when his mom's dying wish is for him to get his degree, he has no choice but to pretend it's what he wants too. 

Cheyenne needs a fake boyfriend to get back at her ex and Colt needs cash to take care of his mom, so they strike a deal that helps them both. But what if Cheyenne’s past isn’t what she thought? Soon they’re trading one charade for another—losing themselves in each other to forget about their pain. The more they play their game, the more it becomes the only thing they have that feels real.

Both Cheyenne and Colt know life is never easy, but neither of them expect the tragedy that threatens to end their charade and rip them apart forever.

Oh Geez...I don't even know where to start!  First let me say that if you decide to read this, you need to grab a box of klenex before you begin.  This book is gut wrenching.  I cried through at least half of it.  I'm talking sobbing and blubbering all over the place.  It was a sight to see!  This book is so good and I'm not sure my review can even do it justice.  I love this author, she has a knack for capturing a moment and making you feel every second of it.  I was hooked from page one.  I couldn't put it down and I didn't want to.  The characters are amazing, the story is amazing, the journey and the growth are amazing!

How can someone be so much more than you ever thought they could be?

Cheyenne or Chey is a 19 year old in college.  She catches her douche bag boyfriend in bed with another girl after she moved to college to be with him.  She smart, strong, and a fighter.  She's been to hell and back and has the emotional scars to prove it.  Her mom left her when she was 9.  She did this often but she always came back until the last time.  She can't trust anyone, she has panic attacks but she's so strong compared to what she thinks of herself.

Colt is dark and dangerous.  He's a drug dealer who doesn't want to do it but he has to.  His mother is dying of cancer and all through the book you see him deal with this.  He doesn't do relationships and he doesn't really have friends.  He keeps to himself.  He beautiful like all other heros.  I felt for this guy.  He broke my heart so many times.  I just wanted to pull him into my arms and hold him.  He has the tattoos, a foul mouth and the bad boy attitude but underneath all of that he's really struggling and he has no one to lean on until he meets Chey.

Chey comes up with this brilliant plan (it's very immature and high school like actually) to make her ex jealous by finding a "fake" boyfriend.  Since Colt and her ex don't get along she decides it's got to be him.  He doesn't agree at first.  They pretty much can't stand each other actually.  He keeps calling her princess, which isn't a compliment   He finally does accept because he needs the money.  He's dealing drugs because he needs the money to help pay for his mom's expenses.  

At first, it's just in front of people and they are pushing each other away as soon as they get out of eye sight.  These two act like the other one has some sort of disease.  It isn't long though before the lines begin to cross and they can't remember exactly what is the game and what is real.  It starts out as a "just sex" thing.  They see that they can make each other forget what's going on around them.  They are using each other as an escape.  They are both falling for each other but neither will admit it.  They both say time and time again that it's just a distraction and they don't want anything serious.

He takes her to meet his mom.  This is a big deal because he has never brought a girl home.  You get a great picture of how he really is in the way he deals with his mother.  He's like a lost kid who is doing everything in his power to pretend everything is normal and he's not about to loose her.  He worships the ground she walks on, as does his mom with him.  He loves her so much and he's so scared to live without her.  Your heart just breaks for him and the pain that he's in.  Meeting his mom was a big deal for her.  She begins to see the lines crossing.

Eventually, he just gives it to her straight.  He realizes that he doesn't just want to sleep with her.  He wants her permanently   

“I thought this was a game,” I remind him. 
“Not anymore and you know it. Everything else in my life is all f***ed up. This is the only thing that’s real.”

Things are going well between them.  She tells him she loves him and he tells her back.  They go on their first date and then everything falls apart.  His mom has taken a turn for the worst and hospice has been called in.  Chey goes with him and never leaves his side.  He has one of the most emotional conversations saying goodbye to him mother that I have ever read.  I sobbed and sobbed.  It was just heartbreaking.  

After she passes he needs to get away so they go home to peace in quiet.  The problem is when they get to his house her ex is waiting.  They get into a fight and her ex pushed Colt to the ground and he smashes his head.  He ends up having to have emergency surgery and he's in a coma for several day in ICU.  This all happened the day his mom died.  I hate her ex.  He's a spoiled brat who can't stand the fact that Chey wouldn't take him back but instead went to Colt.  She never leaves him and when he finally wakes up he tells her he loves her.

The epilogue happens 3 months later.  He's quit school and is working but going to a few community college class as well.  They have moved into their own apartment.  He vows to never let her go.

This was such a good book.  Heartbreaking and intense but awesome.  Their entire relationship started out as a game to get back at her ex but it turned into so much more.  They came into each other's lives when they needed someone most.  They drew strength from each other.  They did things together that they never would have made it though without the other one.  It is true love at it's finest!  The characters grew so much and we got to witness it.   Read this book.  You will not be disappointed.  I give it 5 stars and it deserves so much more than that.

My hat is off to the author!  I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon!

My Colt/Chey


Favorite quotes

with his simple request, I begin to soften inside. It’s that stupid girl heart-pounding, hearts-floating-by-my-head thing. Where the guy who fights so hard to keep the distance, does something so small, it’s huge. I can’t help but let it inside. Let it mean something.

This girl is mine. I've had quite a few girls before, but none of them were mine. I didn't want them a part of me, to keep them, and with her I want nothing more than to keep her safe and keep her with me all the time.

This isn't a f***ing game anymore. No charades here. I don’t know exactly what to call it, but whatever it is, it’s ours. I’m going to latch onto it. And never let go.

“I’m right where I belong and where she wanted me to be. Where I want to be… With you.”