Monday, August 12, 2013

Undeniable by Madeline Sheehan

** 5 out of 5 Amazing/Heart Breaking/Intense Stars **

**WARNING:  SPOILERS AHEAD**

Warning:  This is not a "typical love story".  This is an all-consuming, soul-crushing, tear-your-heart-into-pieces story.  It's intense, gritty and raw, dark and disturbing, and it doesn't happen overnight.  This is an epic love story that knows no boundaries and has no time limits.  It grows and develops--with hurt, sacrifice, and heartache--over the span of a life time.

Eva Fox is the princess of the Silver Demons Motorcycle Club.  Growing up with bikers in the club lifestyle is all that she knows.  When she's a young girl, Eva meets the reason for her existence.  Deuce West is the sexy, biker bad-ass of the Hell's Horsemen Motorcycle Club.  Like Eva, he was born and raised in the club--but that's where the similarities end.  Their first meeting is innocent, but as Eva matures into a woman, their chance reunions evolve into a fit of lust and love.  Fate continues to bring them together time and time again, but their twisted journey is filled with pain, betrayal, and bloodshed that could tear them apart.  Eva sees in Deuce what he cannot see in himself--a man worthy of love--and Eva spends her lifetime proving to him that her undeniable love is the one thing he can't live without.

This is Eva and Deuce's story.

It wasn't easy.  Nothing worth doing ever is.  And love is worth everything.

 


MY REVIEW...

First let me say that I am so mad at myself!  I have put this book off for months thinking I wouldn't like it.  This is one of the best books I've ever read.  It's in a word...EPIC!  It's dark and dangerous, raw, bleak and covered in darkness but somewhere mixed in all of that there is a light burning.  For Deuce, Eva is that light.  These two were born to love each other.  I know some people have had some issues with the age difference especially in the beginning.  I didn't have a problem with it.  It's hard to explain but he never crossed a line until she was old enough to understand her feelings for him.  Yes he's much older and if I though for a second that he was a pedophile I'd give this book 1 star and be done but he was so far from that.  He's loved this girl for years, first in an innocent way watching her grow up.  Once she reaches a mature age that love morphs into something else entirely and they can no longer fight it, yet that's what they do for years.  I loved the writing style.  I was hooked from the first page.  Every time I had to stop reading all I thought about was how long it would be until I could get back an read again.  I love the characters...most of them.  I had issues with Eva's messed up sense of duty with Frankie.  Complete co-dependency on both side which was so unhealthy.  He was truly messed up and he needed help.  The thing with Chase was beyond creepy.  This book has left me feeling almost void.  I experienced every emotion possible and now I feel drained, empty, and almost depressed even though they got their HEA.  I guess what they had to go through sort of ruined it for me in a way.  Great book and worth every second of my time!



BOOK SUMMARY...

Deuce is tall with thick muscles, blonde hair, blue eyes.  He's heavily tattooed.  He's edgy and sexy.  He's the President of the Hell's Horsemen MC.  He's controlling and possessive...the best kind of Alpha male.  He's dark and dangerous with a ton of inner demons.  He's used to getting what he wants when he wants it.  In a word he's perfect.

Eva is the daughter of the President of the Silver Demons MC allied with the Horsemen.  She's a spoiled MC princess loved by all and protected from all.  She has smokey grey eyes, long brown hair, ivory skin.  She has tattoos once she's older.  She's fierce, feisty, and different.  The things that matter to others do not matter to her.  She's loyal and she loves with a passion.

The two most important days in your life is the day you were born and the day you find out why.  
I don't remember the day I was born but I remember the day I found out why.
His name was Deuce.
He was my "why".

Eva meets Deuce for the first time when she is 5 years old.  He's 23.  They meet in prison where she is visiting her father.  She talks about 5 year old things like marrying the biggest biker who will let her do what ever she wants because he loves her that much.

Fast Forward 7 years...she's 12 and he's 30.  They run into each other at some kind of biker thing.  She has inherited a "fake" brother named Frankie who is beyond crazy about her and very protective.  They hold hands while walking but it's more of a friendship thing.  He gives her a necklace with a tag on it that belonged to his father.  From 12 to 30 she never takes it off.  He meets Frankie for the first time and sees the guy for what he really is.




Fast forward 4 years...she's 16 and he's 34.  They run into each other at a MC barbecue.  He can't believe how much she's changed.  He begins seeing her as a woman instead of a kid and his feelings for her head in a totally different direction.  Frankie wants him away from her and he baits him.  In Frankie's mind, Eva is his and when Deuce calls him on it Eva rebukes Frankie's answer.  After a fight between Eva and Frankie things take a turn for her and Deuce.  He tells her if she were a little older he'd never let her go.  Deuce has a moment of weakness and kisses her.  It turns intense and she ends up against the wall with her legs around his waist.  Things almost get to the point of sex but he backs off and tells her he's married.  Her father sees the entire exchange and shoots him twice.  He almost dies and vows to stay away.


Fast forward 2 years...she's 18 and he's 36.  They end up at the same club.  They end up doing some raunchy things on the dance floor and then he takes her virginity against a wall in the alley behind the club.  He knows if her dad finds out he's dead but he can't stop himself.

Fast forward 4 years...she's 22 and he's 40.  She has spent the last few years going to college and trying to avoid Frankie.  After college she packs her bags with her best friend Cami and leaves for his MC.  He doesn't know she's coming and the reunion includes his wife screaming at her.  He shows his wife to the door and lets her know he's divorcing her.

"What's wrong with me?  What's she got that I don't?"
"What's wrong with you?  You're not her, that's what's wrong with you.  What's she got that you don't?  B****, she's got me and you never f***in' did."



He tells her if they were different people he'd claim her and he'd never let her go.  She'd be on his bike and in his bed where she belongs.  These two own each other.  it's obvious that they are both so in love.  She admits that she loves him and the plan is to stay with him in his cabin all summer.  They get into an argument (I don't like the way he talks to her at all) and he sends her to his room.  He's mad and she's upset.  While she's deciding to go home and making arrangements to get there he's banging his whore on the kitchen counter...after he just told her he wouldn't.  She walks in an catches him.  She tells him she's leaving and he tells her she's not.  When he wakes up the next morning she's gone with only a note left behind.  He doesn't go after her.

Fast forward 3 years later...she's 25 and he's 43.  She is in a relationship with Frankie.  After she came home from Deuce and saw the shape Frankie was in (co-dependency is bad) he forces himself on her and she justifies his rape and it happens in the form of a relationship for 3 years.  Deuce finds out about 5 seconds before she storms into a meeting and sees him.  You can tell at this point that life is taking a toll on her.  She's bitter, hardened, and angry.  Deuce is angry and he does what he does best...screws it up.  She catches him in her kitchen with a groupie on her knees.  His eyes are empty and he's trying to not love her and it isn't going well.

Fast forward 5 years...she's 30 and he's 48.  Deuce and some of his members are at her house with the intention of killing Frankie.  He messed up one of the guys face really bad.  Deuce finds out that Frankie and Eva are married.  When they got married, Frankie took a hit out on Eva.  If he ever dies then she will die too.  Yeah beyond creepy at this point.  They have the guy carted off all the while with Eva screaming for them to stop and telling them how much she hates them.  She has a messed up sense of loyalty to him and she feels like he won't make it without her.  She ends up in a hotel room with Deuce trying to figure out who is behind the hit.  He jerks the tag he gave her years ago from her neck and tells someone to get rid of it.  She is upset about it.  They have sex the next morning and while she's sleeping he slips off his own tag with his name on it and puts it around her neck.  He's decided at this point he's to old to live this way and he's ready to take her home with him.  He falls asleep and when he wakes up she's gone.



She contacts her best friend's husband in the hope of getting Frankie out of jail.  She has to exchange sex with him for the help.  This goes on for months.  She feels worthless and she's empty but she does it.  She realizes early on how messed up Frankie is but she can't stop herself from sleeping with Chase.  He found her weakness and used it against her getting exactly what he wanted from her...sex.  She finds out she's pregnant and she's not sure who the father is.  It could be Chase's baby but it could also belong to Deuce.  When Deuce finds out he picks her up outside the hotel room she meets Chase at.  He tells her to get on the bike.  He's taking her home and then he's taking her home with him.  He tells her he can't do it anymore.  He can't live without her, he wants her with him until he dies.  He wants her carrying his babies, riding on his bike and sleeping in his bed every night.  He pulls out the tag he put around her neck.  She thought he had put his dad's tag back on her and she's floored when she realizes she's been walking around with his for months.  She tells him that he loves her and he lets her know he has for a long time. She gets on the bike without arguing.

When they get back to her MC he finds out that she's pregnant and that it could possibly be his.  He then goes to see Chase and we find out that Chase has been in love with her for years.  He saw his chance with her and took it.  The douchebag even has a picture of her on his desk.  Following that meeting, he loads her up on his bike and takes her home with him.  She still plans on running but he talks her into staying.  We fast forward a little and she's 8 months pregnant and on bed rest.  The doctor has stopped them from having sex.  He starts staying away from home days at a time.  She suspects he's sleeping with his groupie again and he is.  You'd think he'd learn how easy it is to lose her but he just doesn't care.  He treats her horrible during her pregnancy.  He leaves her alone all the time and he's not there for her.  His kids know more about what's going on with her than he does.  Following a huge blowout and him being gone for a weeks she storms the MC and finds him in bed with his whore.  He's already told her he never should have touched her, that he wishes he'd never met her.  Now he's caught sleeping with his whore again and she's leaving.  He actually kicks her out.  At this point his kids have already slammed him for the way he's treating her and now his boys are getting on him.  They try to tell him what he's loosing, that she's not always gonna be there.  The conversation isn't finished because one of the guys runs in covered in blood.



She is lying unconscious out front and covered in blood.  The stress of her pregnancy sent her into pre term labor and she has to have an emergency C-section.  She almost dies and the baby can't breath on its own.  He's sorry, he knows how much he's messed up.  He's sent the girl from the club and severed all ties with her.  Eva refuses to see him though.  He eventually gets back there to her though when something comes up.  When she talks to him she tells him she gave the baby his last name and asks him what to do about the birth certificate.  He tells her to do nothing because he will fill out the forms because the baby is his.  They make up and he promises to give her everything she deserves and to treat her like the princess she is.

Chase is killed violently.  Frankie escaped from jail and killed him for sleeping with Eva.  He falls off the grid and things are going well.  They are happy as time passes, great things are happening.  Then one day it all falls apart.    Frankie shows up and rapes her in front of  Deuce while he's handcuffed and helpless.  He keeps eye contact with her at all times and he cries when Frankie finishes with her.  Frankie takes her and he's going out of his mind.  Eva eventually kills Frankie.  After his funeral they begin the healing process.  She deals with it better than he does but they eventually get there.  Oh and the baby is Deuce's.

In the epilogue they are married.  She's 35 and he's 53.  He's talking to her father about how lucky he is and how much he loves her.

MY RATING...

There was never any doubt.  This book deserves more than 5 stars.  It was amazing and I fell for Deuce.  I cried and I screamed...but I smiled a lot too.  This book has everything!  Go put this book on your TBR list right now.  READ IT!  It's one of the best books I have read in a long time.  I recommend it to everyone.  You won't be disappointed!

My Deuce / Eva

 

Favorite Quotes:

"So yeah, I can't do this anymore.  Can't f***in' live without you.  Want you on my kike and in my bed.  Want my kids inside you.  Want you by my side babe for as long as I got left."

"I am Preacher's little girl.  and I'm gonna be just like him when I grow up.  I'm gonna have a Fatboy but I want mind to be sparkly and I want a pink helmet with skulls on it.  And instead of being the club president, I'm gonna be the club Queen cuz I'm gonna marry the biggest, scariest biker in the whole world and he's gonna let me do whatever I want because he's gonna love me like crazy."
"I'm gonna hold you to that."