Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Edge of Never by J.A. Redmerski

The Edge of Never (The Edge of Never, #1)** 5 out of 5 Crazy/Emotional/Heartbreaking Stars**


Twenty-year-old Camryn Bennett had always been one to thing out-of-the-box, who knew she wanted something more in life than following the same repetitive patterns and growing old with the same repetitive life story.  And she thought that her life was going in the right direction until everything fell apart.

Determined not to dwell on the negative and push forward, Camryn is set to move in with her best friend and plans to start a new job.  But after an unexpected night at the hottest club in downtown North Carolina, she makes the ultimate decision to leave the only life she's ever known, far behind.

With a purse, a cell phone and a small bag with a few necessities, Camryn, with absolutely no direction or purpose boards a Greyhound bus alone and sets out to find herself.  What she finds is a guy named Andrew Parrish, someone not so very different from her and who harbors his own dark secrets.  But Camryn swore never to let down her walls again.  And she vowed to never fall in love.

But with Andrew, Camryn finds herself doing a lot of things she never thought she'd do.  He shows her what it's really like to live out-of-the-box and to give in to her deepest, darkest desires.  On their sporadic road-trip he becomes the center of her exciting and daring new life, pulling love and lust and emotion out of her in ways she never imagined possible.  But will Andrew's dark secret push them inseparably together, or tear them completely apart?


Simply put...BEST. BOOK. EVER.  The Edge of Never may possibly be my new favorite.  I loved the characters.  The heroine is drowning in a life she wants out of and the hero shows her there are better ways to live.  They are exactly what the other needs.  I liked how the POV's were done.  In the beginning it's strictly Camryn telling the story and as we get to know Andrew, we begin to see his story more often.  This entire book takes place on a road trip...part of the time on a bus and the rest in a car.  There is a huge twist close to the end.  I knew something was coming and I kind of figured it out before hand but I was still devastated when it happened.  I couldn't believe it.  I bawled!  Like sobbing mess, my life sucks bawled!  I was on the edge of my seat until the very end.  I was constantly looking at the percentage remaining and thinking, "This is gonna be a cliffy, I so don't want this to end right now."  I laughed a lot in this book.  Andrew is hilarious and he brings out her funny side.  I liked how they reacted to each other.
This book will stay with me for a long time and I absolutely cannot wait until November 5th when The Edge of Always (book 2) comes out!


Camryn is 20.  She's been to hell and back and lived to tell the tale.  She lost her boyfriend a year ago to a car accident.  If that weren't bad enough, 6 months later her brother is sent to prison of killing someone while driving drunk.  Her father cheats on her mother and they divorce.  She's living in a life she doesn't want.  The only real word I can think of to describe how she feels is suffocating.  She has blonde hair and blue eyes and she beautiful.

Andrew is 25.  He's tall with green eyes and dark hair.  He has several tattoos.  He's perfect in every way.  He's hiding a secret but even it can't stop him from falling for Camryn.  She's the perfect girl and she's the light he needs in his life at that moment.  He's funny, carefree, spontaneous, and a bit of a dominate in the bedroom.

"I was taking the long road and Camryn was taking the road to nowhere and it just so happens that they led to the same place."

Camryn is coasting through life doing the best she can to keep her head above water.  After everything she has lost she's depressed, shut off and alone.  She has vowed to never fall in love and never let her walls down.  She goes to a party with her best friend Natalie and Natalie's boyfriend Damon.  After walking onto the roof with some random guy, Damon comes flying in and beats the guy up.  He then tells Camryn that he's wanted her since 7th grade and kisses her.  When she tells Natalie about it, she calls her a liar and tells her to stay away from them.  It's not long after that and Camryn has had enough.  She just needs to leave town and find herself.

She packs a bag, her phone, and a few other things and boards a bus to Idaho...Idaho because the girl at the ticket window was eating a baked potato.  It seems like a random destination and she doesn't even know what she's going to do when she gets there.  She has no idea that in a few hours her life will change forever.

Andrew boards the bus in Kansas, headed to see his father who is dying in a hospital in Wyoming.  He ends up sitting right behind Camryn.  They very briefly speak and then Andrew notices some creepy guy watching her and becomes extremely protective.  He sits next to her to keep the guy from trying as he goes to the bathroom, makes her eat lunch with him when he notices the guy get back on the bus at the rest stop.  She's very leary of him.  They have an instant attraction and he starts getting through her walls without her even realizing it.  When they change buses for the final time they sit together and get to know each other.  When they reach Wyoming it's time to say goodbye.  She can't understand why the though upsets her so badly but it does.  He gets into a cab and he's gone.

She changes her destination to Texas (where Andrew actually lives).  She goes to the bathroom and "creepy" follows her in.  He propositions her and then Andrew comes out of nowhere.  He beats the guy within an inch of his life and then takes care of her.  He had a bad feeling about the guy when he left so when he couldn't get rid of the feeling he came back.  They make a deal...he stays with her until she lets him buy a plane ticket to send her home or someone comes to get her.  This deal comes into effect once she finally tells him the truth about why she's traveling.  He is not leaving her in that bus station.  Plans are amended again...she will go with him to the hospital to visit his dad and then he will take her anywhere she wants to go.

After the visit they set out on a road trip in his dads car.  They go from city to city.  The final destination is Texas but that's not where they are actually headed.  He teaches her not to take life so seriously, to make decisions on a whim, and to open up and feel.  She does things she never would have done, things like lying on the roof of the car with him holding her in the pouring rain on the side of the road and sleeping under the stars.  He's falling in love with her and  knows it, she's falling in love with him and won't admit it.

She finally comes out about her secrets...boyfriend's death, brother, parents, and best friend drama.  They talk about one night stands and he tells her he's not into her like that.  When she runs out he follows her and tells her what he really meant...she's not the kind of girl he could sleep with once.  If he sleeps with her, she will be his.

"If you were to let me f*** you, you would have to let me own you."

He does things to her sexually but won't sleep with her and won't kiss her.  It's obvious from his POV that he wants to more than anything but he can't.  He refuses to sleep with her unless she's willing to be with him.  It's not just that though, there is something serious going on with him.  At this point I had no idea what.  I went from thinking he was dying to him having a wife and kids.  He was very cryptic about his feelings and why he wouldn't do anything.  I couldn't understand his reasoning and neither could she.

They end up in New Orleans and stay 2 weeks.  He gets the phone call about his dad passing away.  She comforts him and then he leaves.  His only intention when going back to the hotel is to leave her plane ticket home.  He's done.  I didn't understand this at all.  I'm still not sure exactly what made him want to leave.  He tries to sneak in unnoticed but she catches him and they have a huge fight.  She tells him to go and goes back to her room.  He's not done fighting and storms into her room.  He demands that she says what she feels and she finally admits that she wants to be with him.  They end up having almost violent sex.  He's obviously not leaving anymore and has no intention of leaving her anywhere.  She's his now.

     "I know you lost your partner in crime, but...I want YOU to be MINE.  Maybe WE should travel the world together, Camryn...I know I can't replace your ex--"
     " was always you.  Even with Ian, I felt something missing.  I told you that night in the field.  I told you that.  You are my partner in crime.  I've known that for a long time."

At this point I really started to wonder what was wrong with him.  He kept talking about not being able to not be with her but that in the end he would break both of their hearts.  They finally make it to his apartment in Texas and she meets his mom.  They decide to leave again and on the morning of he has a seizure.

When she gets to the hospital, his brother tells her that a brain tumor was discovered 8 months ago but he refused treatment because of his dad's illness.  Things don't look good for him at all.  She begs him to have the test run to see if it's operable.  He wouldn't do it before and if he had never met her then he still wouldn't have it done.  He'd do anything for her and since she asks him he agrees.  He goes into a coma and they don't think he will make it.  I'm not playing when I say I was freaking out right her.  The book was at 98% and I was terrified of a cliffhanger.  He writes her a letter in case he doesn't make it and when she reads it, it literally broke my heart.  He tells her he loves her and has loved her since the day he met her.  He realized the day they started on their road trip in the car that she was "the one."

"For the first time in my life, I've felt whole, alive, free.  You were the missing piece of my soul, the breath in my lungs, the blood in my veins."
"One more thing:  don't feel bad for not telling me that you loved me.  You didn't need to say it.  I knew all along that you did."

2 months have passed and she's standing in front of a gravestone with his last name on it crying.


Andrew walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her, thanking her for coming with him to see his dad's grave.  He had the surgery and began to recover.  He's fine now.  Later that evening she tells him she's pregnant.  He had planned on purposing the following night but does it then and she says yes.


This book deserves a lot more than 5 Stars.  I'm so mad at myself for waiting to read this book.  I've had it on my Kindle forever.  It was so freaking good.  Things are so good and they are moving along and then the worst happens from out of nowhere and it destroys you.  It took me on an emotional ride that I didn't want to get off of.  I was mad at myself for reading it so fast.  I CANNOT wait for The Edge of Always.  November 5th!  Read The Edge of Never and then mark down that release date.  Read this book!  You will not be disappointed!

My Camryn / Andrew

Favorite Quotes:

"I could die in this bed with him right now, wrapped in his arms and I would never know that I had died."

Never though I'd intentionally sleep on a bathroom floor next to a toilet while sober, but I meant it when I said I would sleep anywhere with her."

"I think that if past lives are real then we have been lovers in every single one of them.  I've known you for a short time, but I feel like I've known you forever."